Holy Autism, Batman!

I make no secret on my blog, my social media, or any other facet of my life that my wife and I have an autistic son. He was diagnosed with a severe form of the disorder at an early age that has required the constant care and supervision of him from us and others for many years now. We've participated in a number of surveys and studies to help doctors and researchers explore the possible causes, treatments, and other avenues of the disorder. I wouldn't say that we are experts in Autism but we have been forced to learn a great deal more about it than many of the other disabilities out there that our loved ones aren't afflicted with.

That said, there's been a long running debate, both in our household and in the medical science field, about if Autism if hereditary, environmental, or random. There are those that suspect there are a larger number of the population that carry autistic traits but function at a normal or higher than normal level. Because these people function in society at a well enough level there is no social perception of them being autistic and therefore not tested or diagnosed. But because these people walk around being unaware of their Autism, they can then pass that genetic trait to their offspring. Others feel that Autism is more instigated in the womb and/or in the early childhood years when the body and mind are growing the most. This group suspects that things like mercury in vaccines and other medications, both prenatal and post-natal, can interrupt or distort the internal development cycles that cause the variety of symptoms that fall upon the Autism spectrum. And another group thinks it could be environmental factors like ingesting chemicals in our foods, polluted air, tainted water, and whatnot that have a similar disruptive effect on the body's development.

These debates have been raging for some time with no clear winner. One study may announce that they've proven vaccines are to blame and the next day another announces they've confirmed a DNA link to prove hereditary Autism. The science isn't compelling enough for any argument to be declared a true culprit. Heck, for all I know they all might be true or equal influences that depending on how much one someone is exposed to over the other determines which traits are gained and what severity. Maybe our DNA makes some people more susceptible to those factors than others, similar to what they've recently discovered about how some people are more prone to cancer than others.

I'm not here to argue any of those points or to draw a conclusion on any of it. I'm not a scientist. I haven't seen all the data. I don't understand enough about that to even attempt to make an educated guess. But what I do know is that for years my wife has told me time and time again that I'm autistic. At first, I thought she was full of crap but the more we learned about our son's condition and compared some of my tendencies to his, even I started to see a lot of parallels. We have different responses and reactions to things but we still had responses and reactions when similar things happened to us. And looking back across the timeline of my life, I began to see scenarios and memories that highlighted autistic tendencies that you might not recognize if you didn't know to look for them.

In recent years, the idea of me being autistic had become less far-fetched and more a true possibility but it is generally considered difficult to diagnosis Autism in high-functioning adults. Because of their higher mental functional capacity compared to lower-functioning autistics, high-functioning autistics, especially adults, have often developed social coping skills which can help to disguise and blur the lines around their Autism when being monitored and/or tested by professionals. This was even reiterated to me a few years ago when I had myself evaluated by a professional. She gave me an exam, she scored it, and said that the score suggested I had autistic tendencies but because of my age and level of cognitive function that it was almost impossible for her to tell at that time what my true measure on the spectrum might be.

Now fast-forward to 2024. In the years since my professional examination, Autism research has continued and more is steadily being learned about the disorder, including how to better test for Autism in adults, including high-functioning adults. Some of these tests have even been made public on websites where curious individuals can go take the test for themselves to see based on their answers what the probability is of them being autistic. The tests don't rate your possibility severity levels or functional capacities. Instead it simply collects the answers and gives you a chart that basically says scores between X and X might be consistent with mild indicators of Autism, meaning that you might have some Autism or you simply might have things in common but not necessarily Autism, or a score of X is a high probability indicator for Autism and you might consider seeking professional evaluation.

With that information freely available, I decided to take not one but two tests to see how they lined up. The first test was described as a sample set of questions pulled from a larger dataset. These were the questions that seemed to have higher indicator values than the other questions. Basically, this is a quick test to see what the odds of Autism might be. The max score on the test was 42. Any score 14 or higher was an indicator for possible Autism with the higher the score, the higher the possibility. Essentially, a score of 14 means there's a low chance but still a chance whereas a score of 42 means there's a chance you're not but odds are you are.

My score on that test: 39

Next up was the full test. This was 80 questions dealing with things like tactile sensations, speaking volumes, speech patters, socialization preferences, and more. It took a bit longer to get through that test compared to the first one which was only 20-25 questions. At the end of that test, the scoring system was largely the same. There was a chart saying if you scored above this number then this is likely based on the scores of tests from known participants with and without Autism. The chart even indicated the lowest known score of an autistic participant and the highest known score of an autistic participant. Anything over 190 was almost an guarantee of Autism with the highest autistic score recorded being 227 and max possible score of 240.

My score on that test: 198

Again, these scores don't mean that I am for sure autistic but looking at them you can't help but think that the odds are against me NOT having it. Although having Autism would explain a lot about my character and my past. It certainly wouldn't excuse some of the things I said and did but it might make understanding my actions and reactions in those scenarios a bit easier.

But regardless of if I am autistic or not, it means very little to me moving forward. If I am autistic, I am a higher functioning autistic and the disorder has a minimum impact on my ability to work or care for myself. I would not qualify for any type of disability or other government/healthcare benefits. I would not get any special treatment at work for it. The effects of Autism on the elderly are largely unknown and still being studied so at some point having that diagnosis might be important, if I am autistic, but for now its just fun to assume I am.