Local Social Media Melees

I recently joined a Facebook group geared towards our local community. The purpose of the group was to let locals discuss local activities and issues. What I found was upsetting.

Before I get into, let me just clarify that there are 2 strongly held beliefs of mine that influenced my reaction to the group:

1. It's okay for two people to have different opinions and not hate each other or feel that the other person is evil or stupid because they have different beliefs.
2. If you don't like how something is being done then you either do something to change how it's done or you do it yourself when possible.

While I do run across the occasional post in the group where someone is asking for help finding something or someone, the majority of the posts are just bitter, angry people complaining. Most of the complaints seem geared towards our local government officials and appointed city personnel. The prevailing theory, from what I gather from the MANY posts, are that there are those who feel the "good 'ol boy" system is in full effect in our local government that allows under qualified and undeserving individuals to fill positions that they shouldn't.

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not saying that I agree or disagree with these statements. I'm sure if we look at any governing body that we will find plenty of people that we think shouldn't be in a position that they're in. That's the fun of politics. Some buy their way in. Some get in through their connections. Some charm their way in. We only need to look at the last few presidential elections to examples of all those scenarios.

But regardless of how they came to power, or whatever, mouthing off in a Facebook group isn't going to change that. If you think someone was discriminated against and didn't get a job they should have, take the appropriate legal steps to prove it. If you think a certain local leader isn't doing a good job, elect a better one. If you think there are no good local leader options to pick from, put yourself up there since you know so well what the community does and doesn't need.

I spent years as a volunteer coach coaching baseball, soccer, football, and basketball for my kids. Parents would always get mad because their kid didn't play the position they wanted them to, didn't get the amount of playtime they thought they should, didn't start when some other kid did that they felt was a worse player, etc., etc., etc. The other coaches and I would always calmly try to explain why certain things were done like "he was told that it he was late to practice that he couldn't start in the next game and he showed up 15 minutes late," or "he started in the last game and we are rotating players through starting positions so its his turn to start on the bench," or "we like his enthusiasm but we want to develop his skills more before we give him more time. perhaps if you wanted to work with him more at home with the drills we teach at practice then maybe he'll see more improvement in less time." And then there's my perennial favorite, "if you don't like how I'm coaching my team then next year feel free to volunteer and coach your team however you like."

And when it comes to the whining of these people in this group, I feel like a coach listening to entitled parents complaining about how their kid that never played a sport and showed up to a game without any of the required equipment should be a key starter. I just want to tell them to quit bitching and do something instead. But I know that such sentiments are frowned upon in social media. In social media world people just want to whine and complain. The notion that they might have to do something to resolve an issue and that they aren't simply a powerless victim is somehow harmful and frightening to them.

I have followed where some of these individuals will go to astonishingly great lengths to research things in order to prove their point and demonstrate the situation's many faults but in none of that research did it seem as if they took any action to correct the problem. Its like they want others to deal with the problem for them. They don't like it but they can't be bothered to fix it. They would rather encourage others to fix it on their behalf.

It's annoying. When we have an issue with our special needs son, we take action. Neither my wife or I go online and use social media to complain about what happened in the hopes that someone else will stand up and do anything about it. No, we stand up and take action. The issues affect us so we affect the issues. Sometimes we can address the issues directly and handle it on our own but sometimes we have to take the issues to others who through a process can affect the change needed. I can't change a corporate policy for a company I don't control or work for but I can go to those who can and make an impassioned and intelligent argument on why things should change and how they might should change.

Sometimes you can achieve a lot by just talking to those who can influence the issues you are concerned about. Sure, sometimes you might have to get a little hasty with them depending on the situation but you're more likely to get the change you want by engaging in conversation with the powers that be than you are complaining and calling people names on social media like a child.

Just like my recent comments about presenting yourself as a professional, if you want to be an adult then be an adult. What I see in this group is not very commendable adult behavior.

And another trend I've seen in this group is people feel compelled to chime in on posts with comments that have 0 value to the post.

Here's a perfect example. Someone posted a picture of a soon-to-be-opened establishment that's being built on the outskirts of town just off the highway. The person's post was an inquiry into when the business would be open and included a statement that they would like to buy the BBQ advertised on the building's exterior for some quick meals at home after work.

The person stated some excitement about the potential for a new local business and a convenient food option on their commute. That was it. When does it open? I want to try their BBQ. Simple. Harmless. Non-political. Non-everything. Just a basic question and a neutral statement.

There were dozens of comments on the post when I last saw it and not a single comment provided the answer to "when will this open?" Several stated the obvious that all the local residents know, "it's been delayed." Well, thanks for that newsflash! I don't think we could have pieced that together. Especially since the poster mentioned that they drive past it daily as part of their commute, the reason for the BBQ statement... It isn't like it just appeared overnight and if the poster drives that route regularly then I'm pretty sure they've figured out that something has caused a delay since nothing has progressed for weeks. Their question wasn't why hasn't it opened but when will it open. Perhaps the commenters need to read better before commenting? Or better yet, shut the fuck up if you don't have anything useful to add to the conversation!

One person who commented chastised the poster for suggesting that they would buy food at this nationwide chain establishment instead of buying from 100% local businesses only. Now, I'm all for supporting your local business. BUT NEVER TELL ME HOW I SHOULD SPEND MY MONEY! If you don't want to spend a dime at a chain establishment then that is your right and your choice and I'm not here to tell you otherwise. BUT, it is the right and the choice of that poster to spend their money where they please, even if you don't agree.

If the poster is commuting from Dallas to our hometown everyday then that's about an hour drive. The next nearest place around here that offers BBQ in town is not off the highway, not open in the evenings or weekends, and may not offer what the poster is looking for. Nobody took the time to ask the poster about their circumstances, schedule, timelines, or anything else. Instead, others just started bagging on them because they suggested spending their money at some place not owned by a local, even though it employs locals. Which is a point I really don't get since almost EVERY business in this town is not locally owned. If we only shopped with 100% local businesses then we wouldn't have much to choose from. I've seen towns where there is only local businesses and they are small ghost towns with nothing to offer the residents.

I was just absolutely flabbergasted that this person asked a simple question and got nothing but sarcasm and hate for it. I mean, if you don't know the answer and that's the whole point of the post then why not just keep your mouth shut and scroll on? Why feel compelled to comment on a post to tell other people how they should spend their money without knowing anything about them? Why offer comments that do NOTHING to answer the question at hand? What value is there in wasting your time, the poster's time, and everyone else's time by making asinine comments about how someone else should live their life or by stating the obvious? If I wanted to know the answer to the question too, I wouldn't be able to find it on that post now if I tried because so many people chimed in to say nothing relevant to the question at hand.