Social Media vs Personal

Okay, I’m going to sound like an old person for a minute so just get ready.

I’m not big into social media (shocker!). I understand its relevance, power, and potential which is why I use it for for my different endeavors and even some actual social purposes. I don’t use Twitter. I don’t use TikTok. I don’t use Pinterest. I barely use Instagram and I only use Facebook to keep up with a few friends who I no longer live near but want to “keep up with.”

Other than stuff for my books and podcast, I rarely post anything on social media. But to that end, it also means that I rarely post anything about my wife or kids. Not because I’m ashamed of them or am trying to hide them for any reason but mainly just because it isn’t in my nature. Besides, my wife lives on social media. She always posts anything I would post and then some.

Recently, someone criticized my lack of social media posts regarding my wife, primarily on her birthday,

To a degree, the comments were valid. I did not make a “big, special post” on my wife’s birthday. Mainly because I had planned a full day for us to out celebrating her special day together, just the two of us, before surprising her later that night with a weekend getaway with some of her closest friends that they had organized for her. 

My plans led into their plans for my wife to have a packed birthday weekend. A day with me surprising her with different things to do and places to go that we don’t normally do or go. From there, it was a weekend in a cabin with her friends hanging out for a couple of days.

So, if I schedule a day of just she and I doing things together and then work it all out for a weekend with her friends, how is that less than a “big, special post” on Facebook? Why would someone crave a public expression of my acknowledgement of her birthday on social media over a carefully planned and personal experience? 

I don’t get it.

I can understand people who I don’t talk to every day and don’t have my phone number wishing me an informal happy birthday on social media but why does my spouse have to make a spectacle on social media for it to be a good day? For me, I’d rather my spouse tell me happy birthday to my face and spend time with me instead of worrying about making it publicly known to everyone else. I mean, we live together. There’s no reason to wish me a happy birthday on social media when I’m sitting next to you.

If someone’s birthday happiness depends on the gestures made over a virtual network, a.k.a. Social media, instead of what someone does for them in real life then that seems like a warped sensibility. Now, I’m not saying my wife is warped, but if there any correlation to the comments made to me and my wife’s satisfaction for what was a long and fun celebration weekend then perhaps we may need to discuss a potential addiction to social media…